Scared Out of My Mind

Have you ever had something that niggled at the back of your mind...for years? Something that the first time you thought about it you told yourself 'that's crazy' and you would never do it? But circumstances changed and then you thought about it more? And then you thought, I'm not going to think about this anymore but the more you didn't think about it, the more you thought about it?

And THEN you start researching it. Oh, how I love to research things (thanks UPS, that's University of Puget Sound not the United Postal Service, for teaching me how to research). And then you read and read and read about it and start to think, its not that crazy.

And THEN one of your best friends does it! And then you can't help bringing it up whenever you talk to her. And you know what, she likes it. It works for her. Then you think, she can do it so why can't I? But she's brave and I'm...sometimes brave.

I have one of those.

Home school.

And I'm taking the plunge.

I'm homeschooling Madilyn this year.

When Madilyn was a baby and we were discussing education, Jeremy said something to the effect of "Well we could always home school." I looked at him and I kid you not, I said, "Are you going to stay home and I go to work because I am NOT going to home school." Yup, pretty open minded don't you think?

But, like many things, times have changed. I seriously looked into homeschooling Madilyn when she was in 1st grade. She had a very hard time. Very hard. I don't know what happened at the beginning of first grade but I think I missed something. My little girl, who has always been highly emotional, was unrecognizable. Getting her up and ready for school was near torture and there were tantrums when she got home. She started talking about what a bad kid she was and completely stopped talking in class.  I thought it was her getting used to the long school day but now I'm not sure.

Second grade was better-ish. The tantrums weren't as often but there were other problems. This is when I started to notice her self-esteem disappearing. Luckily she had a teacher that, despite Madilyn's lack of speaking in class, noticed her sense of humor, creativity, and quick wit. She encouraged it and gave her an award for creativity at the end of the year.

Third grade was alright. In fact, there were some improvements. There weren't many fights about homework, she took responsibility for making her lunch, and getting up in the morning...for the most part. But stress and anxiety went to a whole new level. I don't want to go into too much detail but it was miserable.

And I kept thinking - there has to be another way.

So here we go on journey I never thought I'd take.

I have no delusions of this being easy. I have no delusions that home school is going to solve our problems. I'm not entirely sure how I'm going to balance everything. I'm assuming it will be like everything else...I'll figure it out one painful day at a time.

Lest anyone think I'm anti-public school, Emma starts 1st grade this year. She is so excited. She loves school. I gave her the option of staying home but she chose to go. I do think its the best decision for her.

Just when I think I've got things figured out...

(PS - This post is for those days when things are hard and Madilyn and I are at wits end. I want to be able to remember why I started all this.)

Ohanapecosh - A Long Name for Camping

Chillin by the river.

 Camping! Me and camping have had a rocky relationship. Check my posts here and here to get an idea of me and the big 'C'. BUT I truly feel that I've given it many tries and my husband didn't give up on me ANNNND I did in fact have fun and would like to do it again.

Words I never thought I would write.

We went to Ohanapecosh, near Mt. Rainier. It looks exactly like Harry and the Hendersons. I kept expecting a 'squatch to step out from behind the trees.

Alas, our only bear sighting.

 We took a hike to a nearby hot spring. It wasn't very big but we had a nice easy stroll through the woods. Garrett had to make sure the water really was hot.

Garrett's question - Is the hot spring really hot? Yes.

 Our campsite was up against a hillside with these huge boulders covered in moss. Uncle Philip and Uncle Jordan took the kids up there to climb on them. Later Madilyn wanted me to climb up there with her. I declined since I'm a little (a lot) scared of heights. I was impressed with her climbing skills. However, she did have a fall. Not a bad one but it could have ended with broken bones. Soooo, no more climbing for now.

Still makes me nervous.

 The Ohanapecosh River runs through the campground and the kids loved playing in it. It was extremely refreshing, when I say refreshing I mean cold. Brrrrr.

Taking a nap by the river.

 Chris and Amanda, Philip, and Celeste and Jordan were there with us. Just FYI.

Water fight!

 We had lots of fun. I would love to go there again, although I really need a long nap.

Random camping story that I have to share, Jeremy set off our car alarm at 3am. The neighbors loved us. :) Good times!

Yup the water was that cold.

A Pirate, Horror!

The yawn of all yawns.

Dancing with my lovely sisters.
 

The reason I am so far behind on my blog, and on my summer as a whole, is that I participated in a production of The Pirates of Penzance. I played Kate, one of several daughters of the Major General (Modern Major General that is). Now one of our directors instructions was to have 'unity through individuality'. Meaning, each person was to have a distinct character.

I have to admit. I really, really, really wanted a sword. Really a lot. A lot. A lot. But alas I couldn't talk the director into letting me be the militant sister.

I was...the nerd.

Shocking?

Not so much.

On the inside, I'm a pretty big nerd.

But it was a good decision and nerdiness played off well.

I had fun with my girls Abby and Amanda. Abby being my voice student/little sister/friend (its a complicated relationship) and Amanda, my sister-in-law. And of course had fun with my 'sisters' on stage. What a crazy, hysterical bunch of women.

Oh, yeah and the pirates were good too.

My travel companions and Pirate 'besties' Abby and Amanda.

Oh more sister love and awesome faces.

Is there anywhere where that face is ok?

All our sister glory.

Woop, woop for a normal face during my solo.

Turning 4 - A study in marshmellow fondant

 He's had a birthday shout hooray! Garret turned 4 in July. He told me he wanted a dinosaur cake. I knew he only wanted a dinosaur cake because he went to his friend's birthday party the week before and he had a dinosaur cake. Garrett doesn't really care about dinosaurs.

I didn't listen to him and made a Transformer cake instead. I made marshmallow fondant. I have to say its not spectacular but it turned out pretty good. The best part was I made it while Garrett took a nap. When he woke up it was all done. He looked at it and gave me a huge hug and said, "Thank you for making a transformer cake!"

Not sure where this grin came from.

Garrett is a firecracker. Everything he does is at the volume of loud at the speed of barely in control. He's also extremely passionate. When he decides something, that's the way it is...in his reality. Unfortunately that doesn't always coincide with what actually has to happen. But alas, he's a sweet boy. He brings a lot of humor to our house.

Garret trying on his cap guns in the chaps and vest that Jeremy when he was a kid.

Ribbon Bouquet

Ribbon Bouquet

I cleaned my room a few days ago and found this bouquet sitting on my nightstand. 

My sweet little girls made it for me to wish me luck before I sang in a recital. It was back in December, hence the red and green.

Most of the time I don't have a hard time throwing things away but every now and then something tugs at my heart. I remember watching the two of them madly taping to get it done. They didn't know that I knew what they were doing.

There is something so pure about the joy on a child's face when they give you something they've made themselves. I did throw it away but I thought it deserved a picture and blog post.

Family Reunion: Island Park - AND Utah!



My little bears at the bear and wolf thingy.

I'm so far behind on the blog. I'll be playing catch up for the next few days/weeks?

We reunioned in Island Park for the first two weeks of summer vacation (the last two weeks of June). What a wonderful, tiring three days. The kids rode quads, fished in a pond (in which we never saw fish only a leech), went to a bear and wolf sanctuary, and got our first glimpse of Duck Dynasty.

And what was going on Idaho? When we were at the sanctuary it was 30 degrees and it snowed...at the end of June. Idaho, really? But a quick stop for hot chocolate seemed to make it all better.



Bear and Wolf Sanctuary. ccccccold.

 

Holly, Kayden, and Emma playing Monopoly. Holly claimed that next time she wasn't going to coach them because they both beat her.

 

All the chillens runnin' free at the fishing pond.


After Island Park we drove to Utah to see Jeremy's sister and grandparents. Where by the way it was 90 degrees! Talk about a change in weather. I wish I had a good picture of Utah but I only took two and neither one of them turned out. Boo.

Good times but also good to be home.