Welcome to Nashville: Bugs Beware

Notable Quotables from Nashville

Imagine this, its first thing in the morning. I get Garrett out of his bed and bring him into our room The first words out of his mouth - I'll take a sandwich.

My pants are leaving! - Garrett as his pants fell.

Ta Da! It's Me! - Garrett as he came running out of the bedroom first thing in the morning.

Me - Hyah, hyah kids! Get in the car!
Garrett - I not a cow. I a cowboy.

Hey boy! Stop singing! - Garrett at a funeral after the deceased's grandchildren got done singing I Am a Child of God. (Jer promptly took him out.)

Mom you made you too skinny. I'm going to draw you bigger because you have a baby in your tummy. - Emma to me after I drew stick figures of the two of us (at her request).

Me (on Emma's birthday) - Emma I don't want you to grow up anymore. You're getting so big.
Emma - (Giving me a 'serious mom?') Mom, I'm the same size I was yesterday.

Grandma found Garrett on her bed harrassing the dog. She asked him to get off the bed. He crawled under the covers and said, "I sleeping. Achooo, achoo0".
(Grandma wasn't fooled.)

Hey! This is a closet! - Garrett, when he realized we'd put his port-a-crib in a walk in closet for a week while on vacation.

Me- My toes hurts bad and its not from dental floss.
Strange look from my mother.

Emma - I'll think about you when you're dead.
Me- ???
Emma - I'll remember all the things you teach me.
(I wasn't aware that I have one foot in the grave.)

Emma - Our brains tell our bodies what to do. But we can't touch them. They are safe in our skell.
Jer - Skell? Like skeleton?
Emma - No dad. Your skell (taps her fingers on her head.) Skeeellll.

Jer - Am I as smart as you are?
Emma - No. You'll get smarter when you grow. You smarter when you get bigger.
Jer - What about mom is she smart?
Emma - Yes.
Jer - What about grandpa?
Emma - He's really smart.
Jer - What about grandma?
Emma - No not really.

Emma - Dad are we going to take the long cut back or the short cut back? (They were washing their boots outside)
Jer - I have to go to the basement so I'm taking the long cut.
Emma - I'm taking the run cut.
(She then ran to the back door.)

Madilyn - Ok, Dad are you going to give me one of those mints or take me out to ice cream?
Dad - How about we go home and get you something to eat.
Madilyn - That isn't one of your options.

Grandpa call 991 I've got snow in my panties! - Madilyn to Grandpa while getting Christmas trees in the mountains.

Emma got service coupons at church to leave us when she did something nice. -
Emma - Dad I left you a poopon.
Jer - I think its coupon.
Emma - No, Dad. Poopon. Pooooo-pon.
Jer - Oh. There's a poopon on the table.

Done? No.
Done? No.
Done? No.
- Garrett to himself.

Jeremy - Is there anyone here who looks like they might be four?
Emma (Throwing off her blankets) - Me! (Holding her foot in the air) Does this look like four year old feet?
Jeremy - Yes.
Madilyn - She looks the same to me.
Emma - No. Look at these hands. These are four year old hands. These are four year old feet. These are four year old...etc.

Emma - Are tomatoes fruit?
Me - Yes.
Emma - Then ketchup is fruit.
Me - Yes, I guess its made of fruit.
Emma - Oh no. We have to protect our ketchup in the fridge from fruit flies!

Wow - Garrett laying on his back after I found Emma dragging by his shirt through the house.

You're warm. I wish you were my pillow. - Emma to Grandpa Richard.

Madilyn - You lied!
Emma - I lied to you Madilyn. I don't lie to mom or Jesus.

Uhhh...dad? We're gonna need more wipes than that. - Madilyn to Jeremy when he took to the bathroom camping (he only grabbed one).

Emma - I want to play sky soccer.
Me - Sky soccer?
Emma - Yes. Way up high in the sky.... Wait, how will I get down? (Growing distressed ) How will I get up there? I don't know how to fly. I don't want to play sky soccer. I'm scared. (Near tears) I don't want to play soccer.
Me - Uhhhh...

You're not a spider grandma you only have two legs. - Emma

Madilyn - We can't go to bed we haven't had dinner yet.
Babysitter - Yes we did we ate macaroni and cheese.
Madilyn - That wasn't dinner that was our 2nd lunch.

Emma - Mom, listen to me count to eleven. (Proceeds to count to eleven.)
Me - Good job Emma can you count to 15?
Emma - No, I don't have 15 fingers.

I'm going to take care of Garrett, this house, and my teeth. - Emma

Mom, you have sparkly eyeshadow. I love it. Noowww, I know why dad married you. - Madilyn

Madilyn - I don't feel good.
Emma - That's cause you swallowed a penny Madilyn.
(Truth hurts)

Mom will you tell us a story out of your mouth? - Emma (That would be tell her a story that I make up rather than out of a book.)

Madilyn - Mom are you pregnant? Cause you still look a little pregnant to me.
Me - Wow. No honey I'm not pregnant.
Madilyn - Are you sure?

Emma - I can feel that Jesus loves me in my heart.
Me - You can feel it right here. (Pointing to my heart)
Emma - Yup. Wait! (long silence with her hands on her heart) Me - What?
Emma - I can feel it...my heart beating. There it is!

I love Jesus more than God. - Emma

It's Santa Claus. He's a nice man. - Emma when the fire trucks came to put out the fire at our apartments.

Madilyn, let's get rid of him. - Emma after Jeremy put them both on their naughty spots.

I can do this. I can be brave. I don't miss my mommy....And I love you. - Emma to her sunday school teacher.

My house is big, even its waterproof, even a wolf can't blow it down. - Emma

How come I have to be potty trained and grandma doesn't? - Emma ( I assure you all that her grandma's are well potty trained.)

Why can't I just go in the grass like Brodey? - Emma on potty training (Brodey is my in-law's dog).

Grandpa Richard can do anything. He can drive a car, he can drive a boat, he can fly a plane. I think he could drive a train too....I don't think he can do a cartwheel or hand stand though. - Madilyn

Jeremy - Emma I don't know what's wrong with me I keep forgetting things. (He was at Costco and kept forgetting stuff on the list.)
Emma - You're a little loser Dad.
Jeremy - Let's not call people little losers.
Emma - Well then you're a big loser Dad.

Mom, when you come to my class tomorrow could you...you know...fix your hair. - Madilyn to me. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I'd actually fixed it that morning....I even used a blow dryer!

I like penguins. I like penguins more than I like lions. I like you more than I like lions or penguins. - Emma to me.

Emma - What's that noise? (Breathes in and out heavily)
Me - Does it sound like a whistle?
Emma - It sounds like a whistle. (Breathing in and out heavily again)
Emma - I have a whistle in my nose!

Grandpa Parsons - You're full of beans.
Madilyn - Grandpa, I'm done with that.
(They grow up so fast.)

I know a lot about lights. I know a lot about lights and plungers. - Emma as we passed Christmas lights.

Me - What did you learn about at church today?
Emma - Wittw Woyd Jesus. (That's little Lord Jesus)

Emma, get your head out of your leotard. - Emma's dance teacher, in the nicest possible voice.

If I can handle one kid I can handle them all. - Madilyn, to friend as they came to get their son from her.

My pants are leaving me! - Emma, as her pants started to slip.

Leave him 'A'! - Emma, after Aunt Celeste told her and Madilyn to "Leave Peter (the rabbit) be."

Oh, look! It's the royal cleaner! - Madilyn, using an English accent, to me while I vacuumed.

Ding, dong. - Madilyn trying to tell a knock knock joke.

Mom, your forehead looks like a maze. - Madilyn, please see post Peanut Butter Cookies and Foreheads.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Bugs Beware

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